Things Change

6/03/2011 09:19:00 AM

As I grow up, I'm learning myself. Isn't that a nice thing and a frustrating thing about growing up? It seems as if, no matter how much we try to make the most out of plans - college, friendships, relationships, events - we can always look back and find things we should have/could have changed.

We slowly evolve into the person we feel most comfortable being. But, for me, it's not without struggles or without taking a few wrong turns. Oh yes, examples...

I was on the debate team in college. Why? I have absolutely no idea. This was me learning myself the Hardaway. Cuz, let's face it, I feel no joy from arguing with people or public speaking for that matter. During the situation I looked at it as a growing experience. I was trying to make myself better at something I wasn't good at. What a stupid reason to put time into something. Looking back, I did learn something. I learned, it's probably better to spend time trying to get better at things you're actually good at (or at least passionate about). hahahaha That seems to black and white, but I think that a lot of people struggle with this. Let's be honest, we've all tried to be something we're not a time or two. Me? I tried to be good at debate. Probably because my sister was good at it and my dad was good at it...I just didn't inherit that particular trait, and that's okay. At least I know I'll never wonder if I was good at it...hahaha

On my life's bucket list I've always had 'To write a book about my life'. And, again...why? I'm not a writer. In fact, I'm not even really a big fan of words. This may come as a shock, considering I 'write' a blog. Regardless, the truth of the matter is, I would much prefer to make a short film or a show of images expressing my life. Maybe it could be set to the music from various times in my life. Maybe I could have cameo appearances from people who impacted me. We could get into technicalities about how I would actually have to write a script and blah, blah...but you see my point. Why was that on my bucket list? I'm not good at that, so why would I waste the time doing it?!

Stray thought about blogging as opposed to writing: Blogging is more a instrument to express thought and less a structured reading or writing tool. And I love that about blogs. It's just free thought where formatting and spelling (hahaha) is loosely judged.

For more examples, we could get into other weird, long choices I've made in relationships & friendships, but I'll spare you. I'll just say, sometimes when I look back on times in my life I see a big question mark because I have no idea what I was thinking. hahahahahaha Everything happens for a reason...I suppose.

Thankfully, I'm coming into my own. I've realized lots of things I'm not and slowly finding more things I am.

I've learned, I love my camera and every single thing about it. I regret every single day I've lived without it. And maybe, unlike debate, I'm actually good at taking pictures.

I've learned I'm not the most analytical.  I've learned, I'm a little dyslexic - maybe. With that I don't have to be great at words and numbers (although, I should start practicing to spell common words that I misspell and I do really enjoy some algebra problems). I'm mostly right-brained and I'm good with that. On the personality test where it measured social skills directly opposed to analytical skills, I'm much more a people person. It's just who I am by nature. So, I know I don't need to go back to school to be a Chemical Engineering -- although the money sure would be nice. What I do need to do, is discover the best way my strong social skills can help me grow personally and professionally. Though that may seem obvious, I still think a lot of people struggle with this. I know I'm guilty of trying to be better at the things I'm bad at and I leave the good things at good instead of trying to make them great. I hope I stop doing that. hahahah

I've learned that 'the perfect guy' for me was/is out there. And I'm pretty dang sure I have found him!! :)) For a long time, I thought that everyone just settled for good enough. I realized, some people are guilty of that, but I didn't have to be one of those people. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that every day I'm moving forward in life with him. Again, applying the bad things good instead of good things better...why struggle to make someone into the person you want them to be, when instead you can find the perfect person and work at making the perfect relationship!!! :)

Okay, I feel all happy now that I'm becoming who I'm suppose to be. hahahhaa sorry I'm cheesy.

'God is great, beer is good, & people are crazy.' - Billy Currington

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Thank you for taking the time to explore the blog. Your support and friendship mean more to me than you may know. God Bless! xoxo