I couldn't be more excited about Spring FINALLY being here.

The one downfall? It makes me really dislike having to be at work. Can't I just be outside in the sunshine and work at night?

No. 1 reason I miss college? Spring Break

Spring-things to look forward to:
- Multiple road trips to the Lake House
- Bayou Country Fest
- Crawfish boil, April 10
- Easter
- wearing white pants & shoes
- tan lines
- Poolside
- Gulf Shore's trip, July 1-4
- Pedicures
- crawfish
- Spring showers
- Sunroof, radio up

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There are a few things that I'm having a hard time accepting that I want to share with you.

a) Growing up. No, like really, I still giggle a little bit every time I refer to myself as a "woman". I just don't feel mature enough to be considered a miss or a Mrs. Will it just feel normal one day? Or did I forget to do something that is supposed to make me feel that way?

b) Not complaining. I want to be a positive person. I really, really want to be one of those positive, always happy people except some days I'm just a wretch.

c) Self-awareness. I know it's important to be a little self-aware but lately it has been feeling a lot more like insecurities and anxiety than anything else.

d) My wardrobe. Can I please be one of those people who always have the perfect outfit for every occasion? If I could actually accomplish this some of my self-awareness/anxiety might actually subside.

I just can't get enough of you these past few days, can I?

I'm taking a sick day from work. I had to humble myself for a moment when I actually decided that I was sick enough to stay home. I kept thinking I had too much work to do to be sick, but really...nothing that I have to do is so important that I can't allow myself a day to get better. Because I really am sick. You should hear my talk, I sound like a 68-year old smoker.

So, I turned on my Push notifications for iPhone work email, fired up the laptop, put some pillows behind my head and plan on doing a little online shopping, design, and sleeping. It's not exactly a mental wellness day when you are actually sick, but it feels nice regardless. Granted, I've already answered 4 work emails in the time that I have written this...I'm okay with that though! :)

I may be in touch again later, ya just never know. Right now I'm going hit up a few stores online to see if I can find some weekend clothes!

There's just something about reading old xanga that makes me miss me. This time last year I would say that I would have never imagined myself in this place this year. It's wonderful, really. But I miss me. I miss not having so much along time but having freedom. I'm okay with my the compromise that is my relationship now. trading a best friend for a boyfriend is never a bad trade. At least not once you finally get use to it.

it's cold again. but its suppose to warm up. regardless, i've been sick. but at night I always hit my rhythm. Old xanga said that April 7th I took a "mental wellness day" last year. I'm thinking of making it annual.

Somethings that I use to believe were boring about me, i have realized, kind of make me.

I've been way to internal lately. and its getting old. by internal i mean all up in my head, being self-conscious and awkwardly aware. I need more time with a few specific people to help counteract. and i need to still figure out my J.O.B situation. Yes, it still makes me self-conscious.

Know what habit I have shook though? My attention-whore habit. I had a slight relapse a few weeks ago, but mainly I'm completely cured. it feels good and does help for sleeping at night.

xoxo <3

sick and tired.

and shouldn't be at work today. but that would have been impossible with the amount of work i had left over from friday.
my weekend was not relaxing. but it wasn't the most exciting of weekend either.

my relationship is going through the odd st. patrick's day slump. i resent john mayer for making me aware of the fact that st. pat's day played any role in a relationship. two more weeks and i think you can say we cleared st. pat's day curse. its just getting there.

the healthcare bill. it terrifies me. ask me how i feel about my tax dollars going to abortions? welcome to socialism.

two weeks ago i made a "to do" list for the next couple of weeks. in consisted of big chores.
i wrote "work out" on it twice.
i've not worked out since i wrote the list.
not okay.

this week:
monday - work, dinner with a girl friend, launrdy, dust & sweep
tuesday - work, volleyball practice
wednesday - work, volleyball game, bulldog for drinks w/ team
thursday - work, workout w/ grace, grey's & private practice w/ aprel
friday - work 'til 2, hair appointment / shreveport?
saturday - tbd

I have this new mindset about purchasing clothes….this specific mindset probably should have been something that crossed my mind years ago, but it didn’t. Well, if it did it didn’t make much of an impression --- I am a product of everything I purchase. The things that I wear directly reflect the type of person that I am, the standards I hold myself to, and the impression that I would like to leave on other --- And with that being said, I’ve started spending a little more money on specific pieces of my wardrobe. It is already making me feel like a better person. It’s a vain, expensive, addictive new outlook; nonetheless I know it helps better reflect the person I try to be instead of a sad impression of the person I wish was. At least, that’s the feeling I’m going with…or something to that gist.


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