I try not to say I'm sorry for not posting in a while.

Someone close to me recently told me that you should not apologize for anything other than serious offenses. I thought that was the best "professional advice" I'd received in awhile.

But truth is, I wish I wrote on this blog more.

I've been keeping a journal at work. A notebook of daily checklists. I recently filled out the last page of the book and started a new one. I went back through page by page of the journal to make sure that all unfinished stray tasks made it to the new notebook.

I'm hesitant to share with you that I've been going through some personal struggles at the office. Issues with respect, self-worth, confidence...all things that really take a toll on a body and soul. Issues that come home with you in the evening, taunt you in the middle of the night, effect your eating habits and overall demeanor.

When I flipped through the work journal that I started in late October I was able to see exactly how the work transition took form. Without even realizing what I was doing I was documenting my steady decline in moral.  I had discussed the projects that were discouraging with my boss and with David. But in the moment I had no idea what kind of effect those projects were doing to me internally. But the attitude of others was doing to my work performance. I let them get to me. I let them get to me, quick. I really, truly thought I had thicker skin than that.

With that hindsight I realized that I can still be in control of my life, my job, my success.

This experience makes me want to document my life in more ways than just through a work journal. I want to be able to document the things that are happening in my life, good and even some bad. We only have this one life to live, you know?! So, when I tell you that I'm sorry for not posting more I'm not really apologizing to you - although I am regretful I haven't been sharing more. I'm reminding myself that I really do want to capture my life in this format.

Next year will mark a decade of blogging for me. Can you believe? I want to make sure that this blog as accurately depicts my professional life as previous blogs have showcased other errors eras.

I'm not sorry...I'm hopeful.

With love and hope to fill more pages.